Why does figuring out if he’s serious or just wasting time feel like reading smoke signals in a windstorm? Because modern dating, especially online, has turned commitment into a slow-motion negotiation while sex happens at warp speed. Welcome to the “just talking” phase, where everything stays deliberately blurry.
Modern dating has turned commitment into a slow-motion negotiation while sex happens at warp speed.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: 61% of couples in 2024 met online, but those relationships consistently show lower satisfaction and love intensity than offline ones. Online dating growth has normalized meeting through apps and sites across age groups.
The research doesn’t lie. Online couples report weaker intimacy, passion, and commitment compared to people who met in person. That gap stays even when researchers control for age, education, and income.
So why does online dating feel so frustratingly ambiguous? Because the structure encourages it. Twenty percent of users openly seek only casual relationships, while 39% want both serious and casual options.
Translation: He’s keeping his options open. The “talking to multiple people” strategy is baked into the system, designed to avoid rejection while maintaining maximum flexibility.
Men are particularly likely to cite casual sex as a goal—31% compared to just 13% of women. Meanwhile, only 41% of all users seek exclusively serious relationships. If he met you online, odds are decent he’s not looking to lock anything down quickly.
But it’s not all doom. Forty-two percent of dating app users have entered committed relationships through these platforms, and that number jumps to 47% for users aged 30 to 49.
Older users tend to approach online dating with clearer intentions. Younger users, especially those 18 to 29, are far less focused on serious relationships, with only 32% seeking commitment exclusively.
The move is simple: Ask directly what he wants. Modern dating rewards ambiguity, but you don’t have to play along. This prolonged ambiguity fosters insecurity and mistrust, which directly undermines relationship stability before it even begins.
The longer things stay vague, the more likely you’re dealing with someone hedging bets. If he dodges, delays, or keeps conversations surface-level, that’s your answer. Online dating makes it easier to avoid red flags that would be obvious in person. Choice overload from having access to thousands of potential matches can make him less likely to commit to just one person. Don’t ignore what your gut already knows.
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