The dating advice industrial complex loves to tell men that personality trumps everything, that confidence and charisma matter more than biceps and bench press numbers. But the data tells a different story, one that makes people uncomfortable but can’t be ignored.
Research analyzing 4,316 U.S. adults found that grip strength directly correlates with lifetime sexual partners for both men and women. Stronger individuals simply reported more partners, period. Even after controlling for general health and testosterone levels, the relationship held firm. Men who could bench press four plates averaged 16 lifetime partners compared to their two-plate counterparts. That’s not a small difference.
Stronger men report significantly more lifetime sexual partners—a gap that persists even when accounting for overall health and hormones.
Here’s where it gets interesting: estimates of physical strength account for over 70% of men’s bodily attractiveness. Add in tallness and leanness, and you’ve explained roughly 80% of what makes a male body attractive. The strongest men were rated most attractive across all samples, with no evidence that being “too strong” somehow became unattractive. The data showed a straight line upward. Women also prioritize physical fitness as an initial attractor before personality factors take precedence.
The provisioning hypothesis gets support too. Men with greater upper body strength were markedly more likely to be in long-term relationships. Increased muscle mass raised relationship likelihood by approximately 20%. Strength mattered more for male partnered status than female partnered status, suggesting women weigh this trait heavily when selecting partners.
Does this mean personality doesn’t matter? No. Approximately 25–30% of male bodily attractiveness variance remains unexplained by strength ratings alone, and physical attractiveness itself represents just one component of overall romantic success. Personality still plays a role, particularly in relationship maintenance. Men and women fell on the same regression line relating strength to number of partners. However, the study found no significant association between grip strength and age at first intercourse, suggesting strength’s influence manifests differently across relationship milestones.
But here’s the uncomfortable truth: surveys of 50,000 individuals confirmed that strength and muscularity represent prominent physical traits related to mating success. You can have the best personality in the world, but you’re fighting an uphill battle if you neglect the physical foundation. The men who succeed most consistently don’t choose between strength and personality. They develop both, understanding that physical attractiveness opens doors that charisma alone often can’t.
