Most men still want to pick up the check, even if they say they don’t have to. The numbers don’t lie: 78% of men believe men should foot the bill on a first date, which is actually higher than the 68% of women who think the same way. That gap tells you something. Men aren’t just going along with what women want. They’re driving this expectation themselves.
Here’s where it gets messy. Only 2% of men actually want women to pay on the first date. Two percent. That’s basically a rounding error. Meanwhile, just 5% of women think they should be the ones paying. The math is simple: nobody really wants to flip the script entirely. About 18% of women prefer splitting the bill equally, but men are less enthusiastic about going Dutch. For most guys, splitting feels too buddy-buddy, like they’re hanging out with a friend instead of making an impression. Women, however, often prioritize kindness and emotional stability over who pays when evaluating long-term potential.
Regional attitudes hammer this home even harder. In Alabama and Wyoming, 76% of men insist on paying for dates. Down South in Georgia, Louisiana, and Missouri, over half of women expect men to pay. Tradition runs deep, and it’s not going away just because someone wrote a think piece about equality. In Vermont, the largest gender gap emerges with 65% of men wanting to pay but only 28% of women expecting it.
But hold on. Before anyone screams double standard, consider what women are putting in. Over half of women drop serious cash on new outfits, manicures, pedicures, and haircuts before a date. 65% spend over fifty bucks just preparing, which can easily exceed what dinner costs. That’s real money and real effort, even if it doesn’t show up on the check.
The landscape is shifting, slowly. 57% of people think the higher earner should pay more often, which makes practical sense. Among millennials, 59% of women still think men should at least offer to pay first, even if they don’t expect it. The keyword is “offer.” It’s about respect, chivalry, and showing you care enough to make the gesture. Some critics call the whole setup disguised prostitution. Others just say whoever asks should pay to avoid being rude. Either way, most men clearly prefer reaching for their wallet. When it comes to Valentine’s Day, Gen Z plans to spend an average of $197 on the holiday, showing that younger generations are willing to invest in romantic gestures.
