At some point between accepting the offer and packing your bags, you’re going to have to tell your partner you took a job in another city.
Three hours away isn’t the end of the world, but it’s not nothing either. The average long-distance couple lives about 125 miles apart, which translates to roughly two and a half hours by car. You’re right in that zone where visiting is possible but inconvenient.
Don’t ambush her with this news. Pick a calm moment when you’re both clear-headed and have time to actually talk. Not over text, not right before she heads to work, and definitely not during an argument about something else. Sit down face-to-face and be direct. Something like, “I need to talk to you about something important. I got offered a job three hours from here, and I accepted it.”
She’s going to have feelings about this. Let her have them. Don’t interrupt, don’t get defensive, and don’t minimize what you’re asking of her. About 40% of long-distance relationships happen because of work, so you’re not alone in this situation, but that doesn’t make it easier for either of you.
Here’s where you need to be honest about what you want. If you see a future with her, say it clearly. Talk about how you’ll handle the distance, because 58% of these relationships actually work long-term. The couples who make it communicate constantly—we’re talking 343 texts a week and eight hours on calls.
Most see each other once a month, though some manage more.
But don’t promise what you can’t deliver. If you’re not willing to text daily or drive back regularly, she deserves to know that now. And understand that 66% of long-distance couples struggle with lack of intimacy, while 63% deal with schedule conflicts. These aren’t small problems. Research shows that long-distance couples are more likely to separate than those living close by, especially when both partners are working. The reality is that only 31% of relationships actually survive the distance.
Give her space to decide what she wants. Some people can handle distance, others can’t. Respect whatever answer she gives you, even if it’s not the one you hoped for.
A practical step is to propose a concrete plan for visits and a timeline for closing the distance so you both have clarity moving forward.
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