Sometimes the straightest-looking life can crack wide open with a single realization. You follow the script perfectly—date men, plan the wedding, imagine the white picket fence. Then a woman walks into your world and suddenly everything you thought you knew about yourself dissolves like sugar in hot water. Trust rebuilds through consistent, honest actions over time, not speeches or promises, which is important to remember when opening up to someone new rebuilding trust.
This experience is more common than most people think. Studies show that among sexual and gender minorities, anywhere from 4% to 34% have faced some kind of pressure to change who they are attracted to. For many, that pressure came early. Among LGBTQ youth subjected to so-called conversion therapy, 83% were under eighteen when it happened. Religious leaders delivered this “treatment” to 81% of LGB adults who experienced it, while 31% heard it from healthcare providers who should have known better.
The damage from these attempts runs deep. People who underwent conversion therapy are more than twice as likely to attempt suicide. They face 92% greater odds of lifetime suicidal ideation and often struggle with depression and PTSD. Those who experienced conversion therapy also had 75% greater odds of planning to attempt suicide. Those who went through conversion therapy were also more than 2.5 times as likely to report multiple suicide attempts in the past year. The economic toll? A staggering $9.23 billion annually in the U.S. when you factor in direct costs and mental health harms.
Here’s the cruel irony: the people pushing these “therapies” claim success rates of 66% for men and 44% for women achieving “good heterosexual functioning.” But dig deeper and you find that 35.1% of people retained strong homosexual orientation after treatment. Complete change is uncommon, and most studies measure behavior, not actual attraction. You can force someone to act straight. You can’t rewire their heart.
The scientific consensus is clear—conversion therapy is pseudoscientific garbage. No credible evidence shows psychotherapy can change sexual orientation. Yet last year alone, 508,892 LGBTQ youth in the U.S. were at risk of experiencing it.
When that girlfriend appears and everything finally makes sense, you’re not broken and you don’t need fixing. You’re just finally living honestly. The straight life was the costume. This is who you always were.
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